29 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/29 09:52 PM

I recently stumbled across this blooper. It’s really quite funny, although if you consider yourself prudish, you may be offended.

28 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/28 07:28 AM

I laughed long and hard when looking at some of these comic book covers. If you’d like a good laugh, check it out.

28 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/28 12:31 AM

Anne Frank fan fiction. Oh, for God’s sake.

Be patriotic! Get stars-and-stripes lingerie!

27 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/27 12:03 PM

This has to be read to be believed.

So you’ll have some trouble sleeping at night …

Heh heh. This is fun.

27 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/27 01:31 AM

Madonna seeded Kazaa and other file-sharing networks with fake copies of her songs. When people tried to open them, they only heard her voice, looped over and over again, asking “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Her site was then hacked to display links to offer actual MP3 copies of her songs. The hacker added to the page, “This is what the fuck I think I’m doing.”

The state of Ohio has a piece of legislation tacked onto its budget bill called the Electronic Government Services Act. It “prohibits a state government agency from providing information if there are two or more competing private enterprises providing those services. That would mean that a government agency would not be allowed to post its regulations or decision on its Web site if, for example, Lexis, WestLaw, or other companies offer that information for sale.”

As someone pointed out, “This is model legislation promoted by a group called ALEC (American Legislative Exchange Council, www.alec.org) that was introduced last year in a handful of states, including Ohio, and was successfully stopped.”

But guess money will get people to keep buying state senators … anyway, check it out over at Boing Boing.

27 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/27 12:25 AM

I have a lot of links I’d like to unload in this entry, so be forewarned.

First, I’d like to repost this paragraph from the latest entry of Mimi Smartypants’ journal. She has such an amazing comic talent, and I wonder if she knows it, or if it’s just like one of those compliments that everyone tells you but you never really internalize and say, ‘Hey, this is something I’m good at.” Anyway, here’s a little bit from Mimi:

“Having dual-consciousness in dreams. For instance, last night I fell quickly asleep at around ten-thirty after drinking a bunch of wine with dinner and then snuggling under a blanket with LT while we watched some of those Discovery Channel forensic shows, the ones that teach you NEVER EVER TO KILL ANYBODY because one lousy hair or fragment of skull will send you to jail forever. I like these programs because they are all science-worshipping, which is sexy, and there is one that is narrated by the Frontline guy, which is sexier. If I was married to that guy I’d make him read the paper to me every night. Anyway, I soon got sleepy and we went to bed, and my brain, lulled into snuggly domesticity by the dinner and the wine and the television, started to dream this dream where I was tidying up our bookshelves. The bookshelves had a lot more than just books on them, there were hairbrushes and toys and old plates of leftover cookies and candy from Christmas. I was tidying them up in preparation for a houseguest, who was a space alien. ‘Wait a minute,’ I told myself (still dreaming). ‘You cannot just randomly throw in a space alien whenever you think your dream is getting too cozy and boring.’ Then (still dreaming), I told myself to butt out, I wasn’t just randomly throwing it in there, this dream would have continuity soon enough, just give me a chance to tie all the loose ends together. This is not the first time my dreams have featured a whole fuckload of narrative interruption and a postmodern undermining of authorial intention, and I worry that if this keeps up I will never have action-packed narrative dreams again but instead all my dreams will feature a bunch of irritating fragments of ’self’ sitting around and arguing about the literary merit of the dream. Help me.”

The Dixie Chicks have posed nude for the cover of the May 3rd Entertainment Weekly.

Speaking of the Dixie Chicks, by the way … it’s lately become very much in vogue for people who believe in the war we just finished to call anyone who disagrees with them names, try to run them over in trucks, hit them, and, in short, do things that pretty much shame America. But someone with impeccable patriotic credentials wants those stupid f—ks to know something:

“The Dixie Chicks have taken a big hit lately for exercising their basic right to express themselves. To me, they’re terrific American artists expressing American values by using their American right to free speech. For them to be banished wholesale from radio stations, and even entire radio networks, for speaking out is un-American.

“The pressure coming from the government and big business to enforce conformity of thought concerning the war and politics goes against everything that this country is about - namely freedom. Right now, we are supposedly fighting to create freedom in Iraq, at the same time that some are trying to intimidate and punish people for using that same freedom here at home.”

Thank you, Mr. Bruce Springsteen, forever The Boss. Patriotic credentials easily viewed here and here.

92% of tested Americans have trace amounts of perfluorinated acid in their blood; the acid is used for making Teflon, Gore-Tex, Scotchguard and Stainmaster. Lovely.

If you’re a drug dealer doing business in Kansas, the state’s Department of Revenue would like you to know that they expect you to pay taxes to them on any cocaine or marijuana you might be selling.

“The fact that dealing marijuana and controlled substances is illegal does not exempt it from taxation. Therefore drug dealers are required by law to purchase drug tax stamps.”

Todd Dominey has a few choice comments about this. My favorite part of the page in question, though, has to be:

“Can I purchase drug tax stamps through the mail?

“Yes. The purchaser will need to provide their mailing address in order for the Department to send the drug tax stamps.”

Kansas legislators don’t seem to have a really firm grasp on reality, do they? Although it’s been pointed out that this might all just be a nice end run around the outlawing of double jeopardy.

I assume, if you’ve read the news, that you’ve heard about Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.)’s recent interview with an Associated press reporter in which he spoke against not only homosexuality but ’sodomy’ in general, even between married folks. Here are some quotes:

“I have a problem with homosexual acts. As I would with acts of other, what I would consider to be, acts outside of traditional heterosexual relationships. And that includes a variety of different acts, not just homosexual.”

“In this case, what we’re talking about, basically, is priests who were having sexual relations with post-pubescent men. We’re not talking about priests with 3-year-olds, or 5-year-olds. We’re talking about a basic homosexual relationship.”

Sen. Santorum’s foot, meet Sen. Santorum’s mouth.

I must admit, though, that I really loved this particularly human moment of the interview:

Sen. Santorum: That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality …

Laura Jakes Jordan: I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was going to talk about “man on dog” with a United States senator, it’s sort of freaking me out.

Interesting point to note, however: Laura Jakes Jordan is the wife of Jim Jordan. Jim Jordan is the manager of Sen. John Kerry’s 2004 Presidential campaign.

The White House’s reaction? White House press secretary Ari Fleischer sez, “[T]he President has confidence in Senator Santorum, both as a senator, [and] as a member of the Senate leadership.”

In reaction to the above, someone placed this call to Sen. Rick Santorum’s office …

Scarlet Pimpernel: “Does oral sex between a husband and wife, when they’re both consenting… does that constitute sodomy?”

Sen. Santorum Staffer: “Umm.. no. It does not.”

Scarlet Pimpernel: “HOT DAMN! (calling out to wife:) HONEY? GREAT NEWS!”

More here.

Going off Santorum and onto more reasons to be pissed at the White House, it really wasn’t really ever about weapons of mass destruction, was it? Anonymous administration “officials” are now admitting it ..

ABC News: To build its case for war with Iraq, the Bush administration argued that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, but some officials now privately acknowledge the White House had another reason for war — a global show of American power and democracy.

Officials inside government and advisers outside told ABCNEWS the administration emphasized the danger of Saddam’s weapons to gain the legal justification for war from the United Nations and to stress the danger at home to Americans.

“We were not lying,” said one official. “But it was just a matter of emphasis.”

I’m so very much not surprised. More here.

And, finally, to wrap things up, I love this:

Man: According to the Wall Street Journal, the Bush Administration has audacious plans to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people! For instance, they want every citizen to have access to health care! And because they’re worried about religious fundamentalists setting up private schools, they’re going to spend sixty-two million dollars to establish a secular, government-run school system by next October!

Sparky the Penguin: So, in other words, universal health coverage and adequately funded publc schools are among our nation’s to priorities — for Iraq?

Man: Absolutely! Along with free and fair elections, of course!

Sparky: And the irony of all this is, I assume, completely lost on you?

Man: What? You have some sort of problem with basic American values?

23 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/23 11:53 PM

Some journalists and Marines are thieves. Here’s the complaint.

You remember that Baghdad blogger I linked to? He might be Raed Rokan Al-Anbuge, a former Iraqi diplomat’s son, “based on his memories of Iraq and what he was seeing on network news plus inspired guesses and a vivid imagination and maybe information gotten from friends back home.”

*snort* (The puns at the end really made me chuckle.)

Oh, wouldn’t this be sweet.

22 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/22 11:25 PM

“And then the day came, when the risk to remain in a tight bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anais Nin

22 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/22 10:26 PM

Go, Spidey! Go, Spidey! Go, Go, Go, Spidey!

To borrow a phrase from Tom Tomorrow, at long last, sir, have you no shame?

The president is planning a sprint of a campaign that would start, at least officially, with his acceptance speech at the Republican convention, a speech now set for Sept. 2.

The convention, to be held in New York City, will be the latest since the Republican Party was founded in 1856, and Mr. Bush’s advisers said they chose the date so the event would flow into the commemorations of the third anniversary of the World Trade Center and Pentagon attacks.

Here’s something even more shameful: there are “children enemy combatants” at Camp X-Ray in Guantanamo Bay: “The commander of the joint task force at Guantanamo, Major General Geoffrey Miller, says more than one child under the age of 16 is at the detention centre.”

Arcata, California has outlawed voluntary compliance with the PATRIOT Act.

Breast feeding = terrorism.

Wil has a rather amusing fable.

These are just incredibly disgusting when you realize they’re big fungi.

Good to know!

22 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/22 08:56 AM

Got this in an e-mail forward, so I don’t know if Chris Rock actually said it, but it’s amusing:

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named ‘Bush’, ‘Dick’ and ‘Colon.’ Need I say more?”

19 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/19 05:38 PM

You want to hear something weird? “99 Luftballons” — that old ’80s song — is “a fable of nuclear war brought about by a bunch of balloons in the sky being mistaken on radar for a pre-emptive missile attack” (AllMusic.Com). Here are the English lyrics:

99 Red Balloons

You and I in a little toy shop
buy a bag of balloons with the money we’ve got
Set them free at the break of dawn
‘Til one by one, they were gone
Back at base, bugs in the software
Flash the message, “Something’s out there”
Floating in the summer sky
99 red balloons go by.

99 red balloons floating in the summer sky
Panic bells, it’s red alert
There’s something here from somewhere else
The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky
Where 99 red balloons go by.

99 Decision Street, 99 ministers meet
To worry, worry, super-scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry
This is what we’ve waited for
This is it boys, this is war
The president is on the line
As 99 red balloons go by.

99 Knights of the air
ride super-high-tech jet fighters
Everyone’s a Silverhero
Everyone’s a Captain Kirk
With orders to identify
To clarify and classify
Scramble in the summer sky
As 99 red balloons go by.

99 dreams I have had
In every one a red balloon
It’s all over and I’m standin’ pretty
In this dust that was a city
If I could find a souvenier
Just to prove the world was here…
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go.

18 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/18 04:11 PM

In this message from a mailing list I belong to, there were some interesting remarks from people:

Clinton D. Fein: “Dean’s admonishment to: ‘remember that these men and women are serving their nation and as a citizen of their nation, they are serving YOU. They are putting their lives at risk FOR YOU. They aren’t doing this for publicity, or for some other self-serving reason, they are doing it FOR YOU. And in case you didn’t hear me, let me say it again, THEY ARE RISKING THEIR LIVES FOR YOU!’ is in one abbreviation, BS.

“They are doing it because they don’t have a choice, and whether they support the war or not. They are doing it because they signed up for whatever social, economic or personal reasons they did. They are doing it because they are trained and obliged to follow orders.”

Jan R. Conklin: “Lisa Dean is not only tossing about the term ‘treason’ loosely, she is also misstating several facts in her efforts to vent her own lack of appreciation for other people’s opinions. First and foremost, those troops are NOT over there fighting for me; they are there at the direct command of Bush and his administration, and unless one has one’s head firmly rooted in the sand, one has to admit that the basic reasons for the war are many and varied. It is not accepted as universal fact that our loyal, hardworking troops are laying their lives on the line simply for freedom; it is a well documented fact that U.S. involvement of any type in the middle east, and Iraq in particular, has always been involved with oil. If Iraq did not command the second largest reserves of oil in the entire world, I doubt many would care about the freedom of that little country or its people - certainly not the likes of Bush, Cheney and Ashcroft.

“Secondly, if you want to criticize somebody for irresponsibly putting others’ lives at risk, take a long, hard look at the risk those same troops are taking on. Can you honestly say each and every one of them would be willing to give up their lives for every hidden agenda that is a factor in this war? If that were so, then Bush would not have had to put a ‘freeze’ on the active status of all the forces shortly before he began pushing the war. Even members who were due for discharge before this war was publicly known to be inevitable were not allowed to leave.”

A new incentive for legal or technological action against spam: it could conceivably create the “hostile environment” necessary for a sexual harrassment suit against an employer.

In an article about SARS: “State legislators are equally culpable. Take a proposal that goes by the unflattering name of MEHPA, the Model Emergency Health Powers Act, which began appearing in state capitols soon after the anthrax scare of late 2001. It expands upon emergency authority that many cities and states already have arrogated themselves during times of crisis, making explicit what powers public health officials will have. Among them: Property and land can be seized as ‘necessary to respond to the public health emergency;’ the state can also forcibly vaccinate Americans against suspected diseases, and quarantine those who refuse. No court order is necessary to detain someone; the language says: ‘The public health authority may temporarily isolate or quarantine an individual or groups of individuals through a written directive.’ Backing the proposal are the CDC, the National Governors Association, the National Conference of State Legislatures, and the National Association of County and City Health Officials.”

I got published on yesterday’s Sun-Times Letters to the Editor page. The title isn’t a good summary of what I was saying at all, but I guess was good for catching people’s eyes.

Say no to Patriot Act

A turning point in our country’s history is passing unnoticed. After Sept. 11, Congress quickly passed the Patriot Act, which revised the Bill of Rights so that the government might supposedly protect us from terrorism.

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) recently introduced a bill that would make the Patriot Act permanent. The Patriot Act massively altered due process — so much so that its periodic re-examination is imperative to preserve the liberties that make America so unique in this world. We can’t afford it to make it permanent: As Thomas Jefferson told us, “The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.” Or as Benjamin Franklin better said, “Those who would give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”

Write your U.S. senators and representatives, and tell them to heed these wise men’s words as we chart the course ahead of us.

Michael J. Harris,
Rogers Park

I’m amused.

The Nashville Network -> The National Network -> The New TNN (which, if you think about it, stands for The New The National Network) -> …

You ready for this?

Spike TV.

I bet James Marsters is all aglow over this.

What’s truly funny about this, though, is:

“Spike TV captures the attributes and essence of what we want the first network for men to be. It’s unapologetically male; it’s active; it’s smart and contemporary with a personality that’s aggressive and irreverent. This is a first major step in our journey to super-serving men in a way no one has done before.” — Albie Hecht, TNN president

Is it just me, or does that sound an awful lot like:

“In your dreams. We’re talking the original dog from hell. We at the network want a dog with attitude. He’s edgy, he’s ‘in your face.’ You’ve heard the expression ‘let’s get busy’? Well, this is a dog who gets ‘biz-zay!’ Consistently and thoroughly.”

“So he’s proactive, huh?”

“Oh, God, yes. We’re talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.”

Oh, maybe it’s just me.

I loved Bob Roberts, and Tim’s latest speech is amazing.

Even though I am pro-choice, I have to commend well-written satire whenever I see it — especially when it’s done rather cleverly. If you’re easily offended, don’t click on this. There are a few grisly images.

If you bought the $175 Ikea “Gutvik” children’s bunk bed, you … er … might have a slight problem.

17 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/17 09:58 PM

Sun-Times columnist Zay Smith wonderfully responds to a pro-war taunter:

What a bargain

B.C., a Mount Prospect reader, writes:

“Your side lost the Cold War. You lost the presidency, House and Senate. You’ve lost this war. Isn’t it time you packed up your yellow ink and got a job with the Daily Mirror? Have a nice trip, loser!”

If QT follows the thread of your argument correctly, QT is a Russian communist, an American Democrat and an Iraqi fascist. Think about the versatility you are getting for your 35 cents.

McDonald’s refused to hire a 420-pound man.

From the Fox-In-Charge-of-the-Chicken-Coop Dep’t: The former privacy officer of Internet advertising giant DoubleClick will be the Department of Homeland Security’s first privacy czar, Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge announced today.

This is such a cool thing.

Circulated around the Internet:

“The invention of the Internet has provided man with a new, powerful tool for world change and affectation, but if there is one thing I’ve learned, it’s that mankind’s greatest dream is not to solve world hunger or cure the common cold, it is to see naked chicks.”

16 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/16 09:49 PM

More Mimi Smartypants juicyness:

I think a dose of intra-office piracy would add a nice touch: the ransacking of other cubicles, the planting of flags, the absconding with small-potatoes booty such as boxes of staples. And, of course, eyelessness, missing limbs, grog, scurvy, sodomy. Since it is mostly chicks who are in positions of power in my office, I think I get to be head pirate, with a few co-pirates, and I am currently accepting applications for cabin boy, apply in person between 2 and 4 pm. (I was going to say something like “bring your own plank,” just to sneak another pirate reference in there, but then I thought it might be misinterpreted as a sexual innuendo, which I did not mean it to be, but the more I look at that sentence the more I am starting to enjoy it, so hell. Bring your own plank.

And the bit about the peanut butter squirrel must be read to be believed.

Here-fuckin’-here.

“There seems to have been more preparation to protect the oil wells than to protect hospitals, water systems or civilians,” Irene Khan, secretary-general of Amnesty International, told a news conference in London. This is Amnesty International, guys — even if you’re pro-America, pro-war, gung-ho, get out of here you commie punk … that’s a big, respected name that isn’t happy with us, guys. Not good. Not good at all.

“I am extraordinarily troubled by the Pandora’s box which may have been opened by our declaration that pre-emptive strikes are a fine way for nations to do business — India, for instance, is already considering a possible pre-emptive strike against Pakistan, using the U.S. precedent as justification.”

This is a very, very neat idea.

Hah! How cool … someone at CNN accidentally posted their pre-prepared obituaries for Dick Cheney, Ronald Reagan, the Pope, Nelson Mandela, Fidel Castro, and Bob Hope …

We’re now back down to “elevated” (yellow) from “high” (orange).

If this is in 10.3, I might even pay for it.

15 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/15 11:01 PM

Salon.Com
April 14, 2003

Reagan Blasts Bush

“My father crapped bigger ones than George Bush,” says the former president’s son, in a flame-throwing conversation about the war and the Bush administration’s efforts to lay claim to the Reagan legacy.

By David Talbot

The Bush inner circle would like to think of George W.’s presidency as more of an extension of Ronald Reagan’s than of his one-term father’s. Reagan himself, who has long suffered from Alzheimer’s disease, is unable to comment on those who lay claim to his political legacy. But his son, Ron Jr., is — and he’s not pleased with the association.

“The Bush people have no right to speak for my father, particularly because of the position he’s in now,” he said during a recent interview with Salon. “Yes, some of the current policies are an extension of the ’80s. But the overall thrust of this administration is not my father’s — these people are overly reaching, overly aggressive, overly secretive, and just plain corrupt. I don’t trust these people.”

Reagan spoke with Salon from his home in Seattle, where he lives with his wife, Doria, a psychologist. A former ballet dancer (”At 45, I’m afraid those days are over”), he has worked in recent years as a magazine journalist and a TV personality, currently hosting dog shows for the Animal Planet network (”I live ‘Best in Show’”). He and Doria have three cats, but no children (”They’re like kids, without the tuition”). Though he never followed his father into politics, Reagan takes a strong interest in public issues, serving on the board of the Creative Coalition, an organization founded in 1989 by performers like Susan Sarandon and Christopher Reeve to politically mobilize entertainers and artists. Reagan recently moderated a Creative Coalition panel discussion in San Francisco on the topic of free expression during wartime, featuring Alec Baldwin on the left and Michael Medved on the right (and a smoldering Sean Penn in the audience).

Reagan, still as lean as he was in his dancing days, has a sharp tongue — but like his father, he has a knack for softening his barbs with a charming affability and disarming sense of humor.

Reagan took a swipe at Bush during the 2000 GOP convention in Philadelphia, which featured a tribute to his father, telling the Washington Post’s Lloyd Grove, “The big elephant sitting in the corner is that George W. Bush is simply unqualified for the job… What’s his accomplishment? That he’s no longer an obnoxious drunk?” Since then he’s been quiet about the current occupant of the White House — until now.

Some observers have compared Bush’s persona as an intellectually challenged but politically gifted leader to that of Reagan. But the younger Reagan vehemently rejects the analogy. “The gunslinging cowboy, the actor who just read his lines — that stereotype doesn’t fit who my father really was.

“My father had decades of experience in public life. He was president of his union, he campaigned for presidential candidates, he served two terms as governor of California — and that was not a ceremonial office as it is in Texas. And he had already run for president, against Ford in ‘76, nearly unseating the sitting president in his own party. He knew where he was coming from, he had spent years thinking and speaking about his views. He didn’t have to ask Dick Cheney what he thought.

“Sure, he wasn’t a technocrat like Clinton. But my father was a man — that’s the difference between him and Bush. To paraphrase Jack Palance, my father crapped bigger ones than George Bush.”

Reagan says he doesn’t have anything personal against Bush. He met him only once, at a White House event during the Reagan presidency. “At least my wife insists we did — he left absolutely no impression on me. But Doria remembers him very negatively — I can’t repeat what she said about him, I’d rather not use profanity. I do remember Jeb — a big fella, seemed to be the brightest of the bunch. And of course their parents were very charming.”

But Reagan has strong feelings about Bush’s policies, including the war in Iraq, which he ardently opposes. “Nine-11 gave the Bush people carte blanche to carry out their extreme agenda — and they didn’t hesitate for a moment to use it. I mean, by 9/12 Rumsfeld was saying, ‘Let’s hit Iraq.’ They’ve used the war on terror to justify everything from tax cuts to Alaska oil drilling.”

Of course, Reagan’s father was also known for his military buildup and aggressive foreign policy. “Yes,” he concedes, “there are some holdovers from my dad’s years, like Elliott Abrams and, my God, Admiral Poindexter, who’s now keeping watch over us all. But that observation doesn’t hold up. My father gave a speech a couple years after he left the White House calling for ‘an international army of conscience’ to deal with failed states where atrocities are taking place. He had no thought that America should be the world’s policeman. I know that for a fact from conversations I had with him. He believed there must be an international force to intervene where great human tragedy was occurring. Rwanda would have been a prime example, where a strike force capable of acting quickly could have gone in to stop the slaughter.

“Now George and Dick and Rummy and Wolfy all have a very different idea about America’s role in the world. It was laid out by [Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul] Wolfowitz back in ‘92 — Iraq is the center of the Middle East, its axis, and it’s of such geo-strategic importance that we can’t leave it in the hands of Saddam. We need to forcibly change that regime and use Iraq as a forward base for American democracy, setting up a domino effect in the region, and so on. My father, on the other hand, was well aware of the messiness of the Middle East, particularly after [the 1983 bombing of the Marine barracks in] Lebanon.”

Reagan says his opinions about the war were not changed by the rapid fall of Baghdad. “Look, whether or not Saddam was a bad guy, or whether the Iraqi people were terribly oppressed, was never the issue. I mean I’m happy for the Iraqis, but that’s not what this was all about. Nor was the military conclusion ever in doubt; this was the Dallas Cowboys playing a high school team. Their army was a third the size it was in ‘91, and it didn’t give us much trouble then.

“And the weapons of mass destruction? Whatever happened to them? I’m sure we’ll find some,” he laughs. “They’re being flown in right now in a C-130.

“There were, and will be, a lot of people killed over there. And if you don’t care about the Iraqi casualties, what about the American? We stand to lose more people in the next months of occupation than we lost in the weeks of war. One of the reasons we escaped largely unscathed so far was because our military moved so fast. But now we’re sitting targets — we have to establish bases, patrol the streets, guard checkpoints. We’re sitting targets for suicide bombers and other terrorists.”

Reagan’s parents were notoriously remote from their four children. Ron Jr. reportedly had the closest relations with his parents and he remains close with his mother, Nancy Reagan, who as the keeper of the Reagan flame is often called upon to dedicate public sites bearing her husband’s name. Reagan says his mother shares his “distrust of some of these [Bush] people. She gets that they’re trouble in all kinds of ways. She doesn’t like their religious fervor, their aggression.”

Reagan says his family feels particularly alienated from the Republican Party over its opposition to embryonic stem cell research, which could have significant benefit for Alzheimer patients like his father. “Now ignorance is one thing, ignorance can be cured. But many of the Republican leaders opposing this research know better, people like [Senate Majority Leader] Bill Frist, who’s a doctor, for God’s sake. People like him are blocking it to pander to the 20 percent of their base who are mouth-breathers. And that’s unconscionable — there are lives at stake here. Stem cell research can revolutionize medicine, more than anything since antibiotics.”

Reagan, who says the label “progressive” would fit him, does not belong to a political party. “I’m certainly not a Republican; I couldn’t belong to any party that had leaders like Tom DeLay. And the Democrats are too busy trying to out-Republican the Republicans.”

His father entered politics at a relatively late stage in his life, after careers as a sports broadcaster, actor and General Electric pitchman. Has Reagan ever considered running for office? No, he insists, “I have no political ambitions. For one thing, I’m not interested in raising all that money. It’s just not the life I want to lead. When is the last time you heard a politician speak his mind? McCain? Yes, he came close. But I once asked him at a Creative Coalition meeting, ‘You talk passionately about this nexus of money and influence that is corrupting our democracy. Why don’t you name names?’ His response was a demurral.

“I have no problem with public service. And yes, better people should be running for office. But personally I just can’t see myself doing it, to live in Washington D.C., the whole package. I was immersed in that my whole life. I saw politicians up close and there were so many who just repulsed me.”

What if a group of concerned citizens approached him and helped raise money for his entry into politics — would that make a difference? “You mean like they did with George W.? ‘Hey, you’ve got name recognition, that’s all that matters — we’ll give you millions of dollars to run!’ Imagine coming to a man with just two years’ experience in public office, and a ceremonial one at that. Imagine installing such a blank slate in the presidency of the United States! This is a regency, not a presidency.

“And they told us, ‘Don’t worry about W. not knowing anything, good old Dick Cheney will be his minder.’ Dick Cheney? And this was going to be compassionate conservatism? Dick Cheney is to the right of Genghis Khan, he wants to drill in your backyard, he wants to deny black people their rights —it was all there in his voting record for us to see. What were we, rubes?”

While Reagan rejects a political career, he clearly doesn’t shy from speaking out. What if GOP conservatives, who still lionize his father as the greatest president of the 20th century, pressure him to shut up? “That wouldn’t be a smart thing for anyone to do.”

15 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/15 08:25 PM

Have you seen the Toys ‘R’ Us commercial where it starts off with a bunny singing, “Here comes Peter Cottontail … ” in a really high-pitched voice …

And then a group of bunnies picks up the verse in the same high-pitched voice (in chorus), “Hoppin’ down the bunny trail … ”

And then they’ve grown into a full roomful of bunnies go, “Hippety-hoppety, Easter’s on his way … ”

And Geoffrey the giraffe is going, “Okay, okay, we’ll have an Easter sale. Just make them stop!”

Sorry, that just cracks me up … anyone know a way for me to get a video capture of it?

15 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/15 07:22 AM

Another good one from Sun-Times columnist Zay Smith:

Decorum is for the weak

News Item: A member of the Palo Alto, Calif., City Council who proposes an ordinance to “improve civility” at council meetings receives hate mail calling her a Nazi and telling her she should be in a straitjacket with a bag over her head.

Etiquette rage?

14 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/14 09:55 PM

EX-cell-ent. It’s all coming together. (steeples fingers)

20th Century Fox: “Damn it, even if we forgot to renew the copyright, it doesn’t matter: we do what we want. So yeah, you used something of ours that fell into the public domain because we forgot to renew the copyright. It doesn’t matter. We’re suing you.”

Kelly Turner, 28 (Monterey, CA): “I don’t have a problem with (government surveillance). I don’t have anything to hide. I wish there was more government monitoring. I want to know if somebody on my block is reading a book on how to build a bomb or if there is anyone reading ‘Catcher in the Rye.’ They say there’s a link between that book and many serial killers.”

This is what the DMCA is nowadays: companies’ instant gag orders. I tell ya, Ashcroft + DMCA != democracy. Read, and read comments.

14 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/14 09:43 PM

Disney films you’ll never see.

This is an interesting link for the stories it tells: that the Library of Congress’s “pack-ratism” is helping out the war effort via some really obscure data … and also that Senators and Representatives have been blowing off their terrorism evacuation briefings. (”We don’t listen very well. We are the weak link.”)

A living, breathing secret American tribunal. This just isn’t America. It’s worse than McCarthyism.

13 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/13 09:28 PM

I’m not precisely pleased that Mac OS Rumors (see the April 9th entry) is now reporting that Apple is going to charge us full price for 10.3. Prediction: if this turns out to be the case, this is going to make a bigger splash than charging us for 10.2, because people are going to now see a pattern.

Slashdot: RIAA Moves Against College-Network Fileswapping.

Ashcroft is sending “National Security Letters.”

And the D.C. police are being sued by the ACLU for violating protestors’ constitutional right to assemble. The press release linked to there is rather interesting.

An interesting article …

If you don’t want the government to do what it must to protect you from terrorists, you should butt out, said Heather MacDonald, a lawyer at the Manhattan Institute, a conservative think tank. She made her remarks Wednesday [April 2] at the 13th annual Computers, Freedom and Privacy conference.

And, she urged, stop all the panic-stricken screaming, because it’s endangering human lives.

[ ... ]

McDonald said the “hysterical cries” from those who see dark plots behind every government antiterrorist plan just proves that privacy advocates have a “luddite mentality.”

Link.

13 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/13 03:23 PM

The Jefferson Muzzles have been announced.

12 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/12 12:09 PM

“[T]here are worse ways to anchor the news, and most of them are on full display over on the Fox News Channel, where the presenters cover the war with the same gusto John Madden shows for a midseason Cowboys-Redskins game.”

— “Whither Rather?”

11 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/11 08:35 PM

The guy who represents the Bronx wants to remove the two-term limit for Presidents. This doesn’t strike me as the most brilliant thing. However, the last three times he brought it up, it died in committee. Still … I can’t think of anything scarier than a President (of any party) in office for a few decades …

Yesterday, there was a rally at Ground Zero to support our troops. At it, Gov. George Pataki said, “The war started right here on Sept. 11, 2001.” No matter what your stance on the war is, that’s just simply not the case. In fact, Hussein and bin Laden are enemies.

Oh, I am SO glad to be a Mac owner in light of this:

In a pairing that would alter the architecture of the music business, Apple Computer Inc. is in talks with Vivendi Universal to buy Universal Music Group, the world’s largest record company, for as much as $6 billion, sources said.

A Baywatch star/PETA activist (Traci Bingham) wants to replace the Running of the Bulls with the Running of the Nude Women. This might actually be a crazy PETA campaign I could get behind.

The straight dope on our current Commander-in-Chief’s … ahem … military record.

CNN kept many atrocities to itself during Hussein’s reign. Something sure to provoke a lot of discussion …

An interesting suggested improvement to Google.

To hell with Gold, Platinum and Titanium cards … you want a MasterCard Diamond card, don’t you?

10 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/10 07:05 PM

Read the Bible in Lego form.

Chernorbyl radiation turns worms into perverts: “Irradiated mutant worms near Chernorbyl have switched from asexual reproduction to banging each others’ wormy selves.” (via Boing Boing)

Eating blobs of tea.

“Jabba mega nagala zo chabo,” indeed.

Sony patents “Shock and Awe.”

09 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/09 07:43 PM

Another good quote from Chicago Sun-Times columnist Zay Smith:

Republican National Committee Chairman Marc Racicot on Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) recommending “a regime change in the United States” as he campaigned for the Democratic nomination:

”Sen. Kerry crossed a grave line when he dared to suggest the replacement of America’s commander in chief at a time—”

Oh, be quiet.

Also, a rather fun joke about Saddam Hussein:

After the first night of American bombing of Baghdad it is discovered that Saddam Hussein’s bunker has been hit. Immediately, word goes out that all of Saddam’s body doubles are to gather for a briefing. With all of the body doubles packed into the ballroom of one of the palaces, a very serious looking man in a military uniform enters the room and takes the podium.

“I have some good news, and some bad news. First, the good news: while our great and glorious leader was in his bunker today, it was hit by a missile fired by the imperialist dog Americans. His Excellency, while injured, was not killed, praise Allah.

“The bad news for you guys is that he lost an arm … “

08 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/08 08:33 PM

Snootchie bootchies!

08 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/08 08:12 PM

This is a test of the new version of my journalling software. But so I don’t have to go back and delete it, let me put something of substance in here: I am watching Cher’s “farewell” show on NBC. It’s actually quite good … she’s a rather good entertainer, although the cast shot I’m looking at right now looks like something out of “Cats.” Still, “Song for the Lonely” is just a really great song.

08 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/08 02:27 PM

“Those who deface a Hummer in words or deed deface the American flag and what it stands for.”

— Rick Schmidt, founder of I.H.O.G., the International Hummer Owners Group

BWA HA HA HA HA …

08 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/08 02:22 PM

Liberal Democrats are screwy, indeed. But this quote is why I’m one of them, usually, and not a Republican:

“[W]hy should we hear about body bags and deaths and how many, what day it’s going to happen, and how many this or what do you suppose? Oh, I mean, it’s, not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?”

Thank you, Barbara Bush. These polarizing times …

06 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/06 11:28 PM

Go here, and then scroll down to the “Neoterik™ Baby Tent.” And then cry. So very much …

The most sad thing about this is … as someone who lives in Chicago, which is perhaps the second or third largest city in America (and thus very much a target, as we learned from al Qaeda plans about the Sears Tower), I found myself looking at that “Exitair BIO™” hood and thinking twice.

That and this both have me a bit depressed as I head off to sleep. What pleasant dreams I’ll have …

And six inches of snow, in April? For God’s sake …

06 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/06 10:36 PM

A parable.

06 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/06 10:10 PM

I am going to post the entirety of an article I saw a link to this evening below. What it documents is that an Army chaplain has 500 gallons of water. He is not letting soldiers use it unless they agree to baptism.

My maternal grandfather and grandmother were medical missionaries. My grandfather was a doctor, and he went to China and India. In China, they were there when the Communist regime came into power, and they were placed under house arrest. If you are interested in reading about this, my grandmother (Myra Scovel) was an author, and wrote a book about the experience, The Chinese Ginger Jars (as well as many other books).

But they never demanded faith before they gave. They lived their life and their faith by example and by ministering to the health and the well-being of those around them. It’s called ministering.

Reading about this laughable person below who considers himself a man of God, I am so proud of my grandfather and grandmother. I just wish they were still here on this Earth, so that I could tell them that.

Miami Herald
Friday, April 4, 2003

Army chaplain offers baptisms, baths
By Meg Laughlin

CAMP BUSHMASTER, Iraq - In this dry desert world near Najaf, where the Army V Corps combat support system sprawls across miles of scabrous dust, there’s an oasis of sorts: a 500-gallon pool of pristine, cool water.

It belongs to Army chaplain Josh Llano of Houston, who sees the water shortage, which has kept thousands of filthy soldiers from bathing for weeks, as an opportunity.

“It’s simple. They want water. I have it, as long as they agree to get baptized,” he said.

And agree they do. Every day, soldiers take the plunge for the Lord and come up clean for the first time in weeks.

“They do appear physically and spiritually cleansed,” Llano said.

First, though, the soldiers have to go to one of Llano’s hour-and-a-half sermons in his dirt-floor tent. Then the baptism takes an hour of quoting from the Bible.

“Regardless of their motives,” Llano said, “I get the chance to take them closer to the Lord.”

A blue-eyed 32-year-old with an abundance of energy, Llano goes out every day to drum up grimy soldiers for his pool.

He talks to truck drivers, tank drivers, computer specialists — anyone and everyone. He goes out to the combat zone to the fighting soldiers and the combat support soldiers who keep them in supplies.

“You have to be aggressive to help people find themselves in God,” he said.

He calls himself a “Southern Baptist evangelist,” and justifies the war and killing with a verse from the Gospel of Matthew, which he often recites: “Give unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.

“This means we are called upon by our government to fight and that is giving unto Caesar, as the Bible tells us,” he said.

Earlier this week, word went out that portable showers might be installed here soon, but Llano was undaunted.

“There is no fruit out here, and I have a stash of raisins, juice boxes and fruit rolls to pull out,” the chaplain said optimistically.

04 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/04 10:28 PM

I’ve enjoyed the novels in the Tom Clancy’s Net Force series, and I just picked up the latest. Here’s my Amazon review:

I picked up State Of War today and read it in an evening, but that shouldn’t be taken as a sign that the book was well-written. The last book, Cybernation, was released in November 2001, so the bulk of it was no doubt written before the World Trade Center attacks. That makes this book the first in the ‘Net Force’ series to be written after the September 11 attacks. Unfortunately, the authors chose to attempt to integrate the events of 2001 into this future they had been portraying, and they did so without even the slightest modicum of skill: the references were incredibly hamhanded and extremely clumsy, and came across with all the subtlety and grace of a sledgehammer hitting a watermelon.

This, to me, was the worst of the novel’s flaws, but it is hardly its only one. Tyrone’s sudden miraculous superhuman sharpshooting ability was comically unbelievable because it had no foundation built for it in any prior novel — worse, it came across as the cliched ‘boy genius saves the day’ syndrome made so hated by Wesley Crusher and Macaulay Culkin. None of the main characters (Alex, Toni, Jay, Howard) experience any significant personal growth or character development, and many beloved secondary characters are entirely absent. And many of the novel’s substories and plot threads were not only uninteresting, but are left sloppily unresolved. What was the argument Tyrone could not think of? Whatever happened to Joan?

I’m fond of the series’ characters after having watched them grow and live their lives throughout six other novels, so I may still pick up whatever novel is written next, mostly out of blind hope that future novels won’t be as awful as this one was. But it hurt to see the characters be such pale imitations of their former selves. Comparing the ‘Net Force’ of State of War to the ‘Net Force’ of its predecessors is like comparing a romantic comedy to the kind of movie you’d pick up in the back of your video store — the ones they keep behind the red curtain. A huge, huge disappointment.

02 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/02 10:35 PM

Microsoft is going to take on Google. I really hope Google wins … “‘We do view Google more and more as a competitor. We believe that we can provide consumers with a better product and a better user experience. That’s something that we’re actively looking at doing,’ Bob Visse, director of marketing for Microsoft’s MSN Internet services division, said.”

02 Apr 03 LiveJournal — 04/02 10:31 PM

The Pentagon says that Saddam Hussein is worse than Hitler.

Aren’t we having fun with hyperbole?