Musings and rants about politics and geekery with a distinct Chicago flavor.
I ran across this entry on the Urban Legend Reference Pages in the last day or two, and it caught my attention because I’ve twice fallen victim to the scam they talk about.
You’re refueling your car at the local gas station when you find your eye caught by a somewhat bedraggled looking 20-something gal standing beside a beat-up van parked near the property’s perimeter. The girl returns your gaze, smiles in an embarrassed way, then hesitantly makes her way over to you.
“Mister, can you help me? Me and my husband ran out of gas, and we’ve no money to buy any — we spent what little we had on formula for the baby. If you could spare a twenty, we could get her home ’cause it’s getting awfully cold out.” Her voice drops a bit. “It’s just a loan I’m asking for, mister. I’ll mail it right back to you, soon as I get my paycheck this Friday.” At this point you see an equally scroungy-looking young man standing by the van clutching a blanket-swaddled bundle you assume is the couple’s infant.
Your kind heart says to give this young woman the twenty dollars she asks for. But your common sense says otherwise. So which do you listen to?
If you’re like a great many folks, you fork over the twenty . . . only to later discover you’ve been had.
I’ve fallen for it twice in seven years. The first was probably about five years ago, when a couple approached me and told me that their apartment had caught on fire and that they were out of house and home. I gave them $10 or $20, I think. The second time was within the last year or year and a half, when some guy approached me on the way home from work and gave me an extremely well-developed story about being locked out of his car — complete with a car with flashing lights in the distance and him being in full construction garb. I’m still not convinced he was a fake, even though the promised reimbursement never came, but I have to grudgingly tip my hat to how well he played it.
I’m not really ashamed for it. There’s a choice between being compassionate and being cynical. I think that I will be a lot more hard-headed about these requests in the future (they’ll have to convince me more, and my assistance will not be financial in the future), but that’s not as a result of reading this — that was a result of falling for that second “con.” Like they say on the page:
If you cannot bring yourself to say no and instead feel you must make some attempt to aid those who appear to be in need, proffer your assistance rather than the cash that has been asked for. Offer to telephone on their behalf whichever friend or relative the stranded couple believes could come for them, or to ask the police for help in getting the child home. Insist that mugging victims contact the police and indeed place those calls for them. Strictly limit your help to non-monetary forms: making phone calls, brainstorming possible solutions, mucking about under the hood of non-functioning cars, etc. But above all, keep your hand away from your wallet.
I suppose the effect of reading this page was to realize that the “con” is more widespread than I had thought, and that the probability of either of those two requests having been legit is a lot less than I had been idling contemplating in the back of my head.
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I’m writing this here just as a note to myself: the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake occurred at 6:58 pm Chicago time on Christmas, or 7:58 pm where I was (with family).
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I yoinked the meme below from my sister. I allowed myself to be verbose, since the questions seem very well-designed to summarize the year that’s passed and begin to focus you for the year ahead.
2004 YEAR IN REVIEW
What did you do in 2004 that you’d never done before?
The one thing that really stands out in my memory is that I went to California for a family reunion. I had never been in California before. I also, tangentially, had not been on the West Coast since I was a baby, and had not been on an airplane for about 12 years.
Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
To the best of my knowledge, I didn’t make New Year’s resolutions last year; they appeared in the form of a letter to myself using FutureMe.Org. I did not keep them, and in fact went in the precise opposite direction. I meant to lose weight, and I gained; I meant to reduce debt, and I increased it.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Two people I know gave birth - an old college classmate and someone I have kept in distant touch with on the Internet - but neither of them are people I’d consider close.
Did anyone close to you die?
Our family had a cat named Tigger. Although for the last few years I had only seen him a few weekends a year (when I’d visit my family), I still held a good measure of affection for him. We had to put him down, as pancreatic cancer was sending him into a diabetic coma, and we all still feel his loss. He was a dignified cat who lived a long life.
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
I would like to have the discipline and momentum to accomplish the goals I set my mind to, and I would like to have more peace and less turmoil in my soul.
What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 3, 2004. I will not forget for quite some time the shock of waking up to find that a very large portion of Americans actually thought that George W. Bush was doing a good job and deserved four more years. I would have thought that a landslide of Americans would have looked at the evidence and thought differently. It fundamentally changed for the worse my perception of my fellow Americans.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I worked extremely hard to help an attorney I used to work for, Sheryl Ann Pethers, be elected as a judge to the Circuit Court of Cook County. It was an uphill battle, considering she was not the “slated” candidate. I designed her website, gave marketing advice, designed ads, and even worked the polls, which was amazing for me, given that this involves a degree of polite pushiness which I would not normally be comfortable with. And, out of an election where 40,000 people voted for her race, she won by a margin of 54 votes. Seeing her sworn in on December 6, I felt a tremendous surge of incredible pride. There will be a wise, caring, compassionate judge on the bench for decades to come, and that’s thanks, in small part, to me, so it’s something I feel quite good about.
What was your biggest failure?
I’d say that without question it was this: after I consolidated all of my existing credit card debts into a low-interest personal loan from a credit union in my building, I then took a credit card that had been cleared off and ran it right back up to its credit limit again, thus increasing my debt by several thousand dollars. It’s a problem I can fortunately solve (assuming my economic situation does not worsen over the next few years), but I am nevertheless disappointed with the severe lack of discipline.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes, the traditional moments of cough, cold, and flu, as well as other medical problems (easily treatable, though) which I’d prefer not to get into here.
What was the best thing you bought?
My airline ticket to California, since I got to meet the “next generation” of my extended family (my various cousins’ adorable children) and enjoy renewed relationships with my uncles, aunts, and cousins from a more adult perspective. (A close second would be my iPod mini.)
Whose behavior merited celebration?
Despite my depression with the result, I am impressed with the many people who became active in politics for the first time. The Bush Administration may wish to treat the 2004 election results as a mandate, but that’s hardly the truth. More people voted against the incumbent in this election than in any other prior election ever, and that’s due in no small part to the tends of thousands of people who realized that this time, they needed to do something more than just vote.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
There are so many valid answers to this question. Anyone who voted for Bush. The Democratic Party and its Presidential candidate. George W. Bush, John Ashcroft, and Donald Rumsfeld (the last of which evidently wasn’t even actually signing condolence letters to the family of our military dead).
Where did most of your money go?
Rent and food (as most people would probably answer, I imagine).
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
In all honesty? I know this is going to sound like I’m harping on the same theme, but the point at which I was the most excited was November 1-2, 2004, when there was a real possibility in the air of America becoming something it should be, instead of a fascist theocracy.
What song will always remind you of 2004?
No song will be associated with this year for me, really, although I did hear Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant” for the first time this year, and given that it’s a real activist song, it may associate itself with 2004 in my mind.
Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Sadder. I think last year around this time, Howard Dean looked like the presumptive Democratic pick, and I was actually volunteering for his campaign. The thought of a President Dean was very encouraging.
Compared to this time last year, are you thinner or fatter?
Fatter, by about 15 or 20 pounds.
Compared to this time last year, are you richer or poorer?
Technically, I’m poorer, in that I’ve increased my debt by about 33%. I’d say in terms of income and available cash, I’m richer by a small degree.
What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I had paid off more debt, watched my food intake better, and exercised more.
What do you wish you’d done less of?
Take the above answer and flip it: spending, eating, and sitting around.
How will you be spending Christmas?
I went to visit family.
Did you fall in love in 2004?
No, I didn’t.
How many one-night stands?
None.
What was your favorite TV program?
“Alias” barely edges out “West Wing.” (Which means, of course, that ABC would have to air “Alias” against “West Wing” beginning next week, meaning I must choose between the two.)
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I do not know if I hate Bush, Ashcroft, and other such officials. I could more easily say that I believe that they are thoughtless and evil not only in action but in character and soul. Adapting the question to that, the person I would newly add to that category would be Donald Rumsfeld. His flip, thoughtless answer to the soldier who asked about body armor and his incredibly cruel use of a machine to sign condolence letters to the families of those who died in action easily push him into an “evil in soul and character” category for me.
What was the best book you read this year?
This is hard to say, as I read so many books, and none stood out as absolutely frickin’ incredible to me. I would say quite possibly “Eastern Standard Tribe,” by Cory Doctorow.
What was your greatest musical discovery this year?
I found a great deal of “mash-ups” on the Web this year, where someone mixes two very disparate songs together (such as “Love Shack” and “Uptown Girl”) for a whole new, yet familiar, sound. Many of those would fall into such a category.
What did you want and get?
Taking the question extremely literally, I wanted to be approved for a debt consolidation loan and was. Taking it more materialistically, my iPod mini.
What was your favorite film of this year?
“The Incredibles.”
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 30 on August 11. I honestly can’t remember what I did.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If you look at my above answers, you can probably easily discern my answer, as I’m repeating some themes here. Let’s say three things, in order of preference: (a) President-Elect Howard Dean; (b) President-Elect John F. Kerry; or (c) not having run up more credit card debt.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Taffeta. No, seriously, nothing different than my usual business casual at work (polo shirt, Dockers), and variant of T-shirt/sweatshirt and shorts/sweatpants/jeans at home, weather depending.
What kept you sane?
My cat Charlie always expresses a great deal of affection and happiness when I come home from work, and it never fails to lift my spirits and make me feel less lonely.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jennifer Garner.
What political issue stirred you the most?
It’s hard to say, given that I disagree with nearly every plank of the neoconservative platform currently embraced by the administration. The decision to divert forces from Tora Bora to Iraq when we could have grabbed the architect of the September 11, 2001 attacks. The incredibly huge national deficit risking the economic future of the country. America letting its hatred and distrust of what’s different lead to 11 states outlawing gay marriage.
Who did you miss?
A good friend of mine changed employers in late November, meaning that instead of seeing and talking with him daily, I instead see him every few weeks. I miss him.
Who was the best new person you met?
In 2004, I’m not sure I have an answer to this. I met the above friend in August 2003.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
Discipline is a spectrum. Being too hard on yourself is immensely damaging to the soul, but you can find yourself swinging too far to the other end as well. Max Ehrmann put it very well when he said, in Desiderata, “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” The point where the discipline is wholesome is the tricky midpoint you must find.
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I posted some Christmas thoughts over at Running Scared.
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Just wanted to post a slightly longer excerpt from blogger Tami Yaches’ journal:
One of the main reasons that I call myself a liberal is that I don’t feel that we, as humans, have the right to dictate how other people live, love or worship. I’m not anti-law, I believe that harming others is wrong, but when someone believes something that doesn’t hurt anyone else, well, that’s their business.
Bingo. That’s it for me, too. That’s pretty much it.
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According to an interview on MSNBC’s “Hardball,” evidently Mrs. Cheney reads the blog written by my second cousin.
I am a bit flabbergasted. It’s not that I like Mrs. Cheney or agree with my second cousin’s views, but nevertheless, the brush with fame is a bit cool.
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The lawyers’ version of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas”:
WHEREAS, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to, a mouse.
A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the chimney in said House, in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a St. Nicholas a/k/a Santa Claus (hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive at sometime thereafter.
The minor residents (i.e., the children) of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal hallucinations (i.e., dreams), wherein vision of confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.
Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as “I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the parts of the second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)
Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtenant to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.
At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh (hereinafter “the Vehicle”) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced Claus.
Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically identified the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer”). (Upon information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-conspirator named “Rudolph” may have been involved.)
The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.
Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered with portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.
Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts” to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax Code.)
Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.” Claus immediately departed for an unknown destination.
However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or exclaim: “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”, or words to that effect.
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New posts to Running Scared here and here and here and here. I can’t always promise I’ll catch these, so you might just want to keep an eye on the blog itself — it is extremely worthwhile reading. Here is its syndication feed.
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Happiness
One-line review: What. The. GODDAMN. Fucking. Hell. Was. That.
Rent It?: Only if you’re prepared for it.
If you’ve seen this, I think you’ll agree that the above one-line review is really the only review this movie can deserve. I have pretty strong sensibilities. I am hard to offend or disgust. I say this because it takes an immense act to send me reeling in a movie.
Well, this one had me reeling so consistently I seriously contemplated stopping it halfway through. If this world was like the world populated in Happiness, the suicide rate would be quintuple what it is in our world. Hell with that: if people were like they are in Happiness, I think suicide would’ve wiped out the human race by now.
It is hard to exactly diagnose what this film is. I want to say that at times it was a black comedy, and by black, I mean the black of a black hole. Horribly, horribly dark, with very little comic relief. There are points where it obviously stretches over the line of realism into comically exaggerated cruelty.
But at times it totally eschews any possible comic tone. There was a story within the film regarding a pedophiliac father. If I hadn’t read Ebert’s review, I’d be outraged at the thought of child actors doing this dialogue, but Ebert gave me a small bit of insight into how they probably handled it without subjecting the child actor to the actual dialogue. Nevertheless, I still cannot really get a handle on the scene itself. And the subplot itself had me practically crawling out of my skin. The concluding dialogue of that subplot was, I think, enough to make me reconsider neoconservatives’ stands on censorship. Yipe. (I’m lapsing into humor there because I just can’t put serious words to it, it threw me so much.)
Would you want to see this? It is hard for me to say “yes.” The director seems to have a sheer contempt for the human race evidently in almost every line of thoughtlessly cruel dialogue, and 139 minutes — well, it was hard to take such a concentrated dose. The world will, ironically enough, look a bit brighter to me tomorrow, I think.
But that having been said, if you are a bit prepared for it, it might be worth a see. The performances of the actors are extremely good, and by ‘good,’ I do mean Oscar-worthy. Each one of them is called upon to handle roles that are extremely hard in their complexity, and they do a great job. None of the characters seem fake or overdone except when they’re supposed to, I think. There are genuine moments.
I really doubt I’ll ever have the urge to see this film again in my life. That having been said, I can recommend it if you’re prepared for a very stomach-churning and very likely continually offensive experience. Ironically enough, like horror films (which a part of my mind kept idly comparing this to, in terms of my reaction — You can sit through a Freddy Krueger film, it pointed out, but this is a real horror flick), a lot of what is horrific about this film is when your mind continues the pattern of what is implied. Still, there are graphic visual moments, but like critic James Bernadelli puts it, “[t]he most potentially offensive visual element is no worse than a segment from There’s Something about Mary.”
I think it has something to say. Exactly what, I haven’t quite parsed out yet. I’ll probably read a few critics’ reviews tonight before hitting the sack. And with great trepidation, I will probably add the director’s other film, Welcome to the Dollhouse, to my Netflix queue.
[Addition #1: In his review, Jonathan Lethem nailed the effect of the pre-credits scene, something I hadn't even realized. His review is a bit spoiler-laden, though; if you're going to try to watch this, read the review after.]
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New posts to Running Scared.
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Neverland
One-Line Review: Baz Luhrmann : Romeo & Juliet :: Damon Dietz : Peter Pan.
Rent It?: Definitely.
Rented this one because it starred Wil Wheaton, and I remembered I wanted to catch his performance. I wasn’t too impressed with Wil. As much as it pains me to say it, I’m not so sure he’s a good actor: I didn’t like him in Book of Days, and I didn’t like him in this. I’m willing to give him continual chances with his work, however, since I think that he is an excellent writer, and, frankly, I like the guy. I just think his talents lie more in humor (he was hilarious in My Coolest Years: the Geeks on VH-1 last night) and in writing, and he should realize how lucky he is to have both of those talents — and the empathy of millions — as well as a loving wife and stepsons. I could slap the guy around sometimes.
That having been said, this was a good film. I’m not sure if you’re going to get what a high compliment I pay something when I say it is “artistically consistent,” but it is. And it was clever and intelligent. I could go into plot details, but firstly, I’m too lazy, and secondly, that would spoil a lot of the surprise you’d get discovering how director Damon Dietz recasts each part of the Peter Pan mythos. It’s definitely stylized in parts — entire sections of dialogue are, I’m sure, lifted directly from Peter and Wendy — but mostly it’s a very intriguing story about the Peter Pan mythos transplanted into an entirely different story. I will warn you, however, about something that seemed necessary to me to understand the point of the film: you must pay attention to Wendy’s dialogue at the end of the movie, both in what she says to Peter at the conclusion, and in what she says in the voice-over at the end. I think it changes the meaning of the film, frankly.
Separately, I was looking forward to Happiness, only to remove it from the envelope and discover that it was broken. “Great,” I thought, “they’re going to think I broke it.” Then I went to their website and saw how phenomenally easy they make returning a broken DVD. They’re going to send out a new version of the film, and I’ll be returning this one in the mail very shortly. Kudos to Netflix — I hope they keep that user-centric attitude.
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Just had to briefly share with you a genius moment that shows why Family Guy can’t be beat.
Peter says that ever since he took over the tobacco company as President, profits have been “higher than Alyssa Milano.”
Immediate crop-back out of animation to the real Alyssa Milano watching the episode on television.
“Of all the cheap shots … Joel?!?!?” she says, turning to a balding guy behind her at a desk.
“I know, I know, we’ll sue,” he says.
Cartoon continues.
Imagine the cutout 1800s guys from the Guinness commercial saying this next line:
“BRILLIANT!”
“BRILLIANT!”
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Well, ever since I subscribed to Netflix, I have been watching a lot of movies. It’s great, because a lot of these, I would not have wanted to actually buy on DVD and have as a permanent collection — but it’s great simply to have seen them. For example, I like Charlie Kaufman’s films. Charlie Kaufman is that mindfuck screenwriter who wrote Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich, and Adaptation. But he also wrote Human Nature and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, two films I had never seen. But now I have. I recommend ‘em both.
I didn’t enjoy Confessions as much as I would have thought — it was interesting, engaging, and enjoyable, but it wasn’t quite the Kaufman mindfuck I was expecting. Still, I’ve heard it had rewrites after Kaufman touched it, so I’m not surprised. As for Human Nature, again, not quite as special as Eternal, Adaptation, or Malkovich, but definitely better than Confessions. I had read the script for Human Nature on a website, and sometimes that’s a problem — your mind shows you a film, and then when the actual film isn’t the same, it doesn’t quite measure up. Still, it was a really great cast: Tim Robbins, Patricia Arquette, and Rhys Davies. A good mixture. (Why am I not telling you the plots? I’m lazy, I suppose. You can look ‘em up on IMdB, I’m sure.)
I also caught Blade Runner: the Director’s Cut just now. It’s very interesting, the history it’s had. Check out the Blade Runner FAQ for some unique insight into the film, if you’ve seen it. Also, evidently there’s a “Blade Runner” Special Edition DVD, that, very oddly enough, is being held up by the CEO of Univision, the Spanish-language channel. Oddly enough, no, I’m not kidding. It’s too bad: I would have loved to have seen the Special Edition as my first foray into the film. Evidently, it would receive the full digitized remastering treatment, etc., but this asshole is holding up what looks like it would be a peach of a DVD set. (Although I said above that I wouldn’t want to buy a lot of these, after having seen Blade Runner, I can say that I’d definitely buy the discussed three-disc set if it ever makes its way to shelves. This 1992 director’s cut is something I wanted to watch, but I don’t think it’d be a purchase.)
Did I like it? I did. Ridley Scott, as always, does an amazing job with science fiction and future worlds. It felt more like Tokyo than America, though — I could picture Snow Crash being set in a very similar environment, for example, when they’re in the [can't remember the specialized term Stephenson used, and I'm too lazy to get up and walk over to my bookcase]. But it was an amazing pic … I suppose that’s all I have to say about it. I do agree with a remark of Harrison Ford that I read in the FAQ:
“I played a detective who did no detecting. There was nothing for me to do but stand around and give some vain attempt to give some focus to Ridley’s sets.”
That did strike me as true. Deckert seemed to be all reaction and very little action, and that was unimpressive.
Pris was rather interesting. It struck me as amazing (and also a high commentary on Daryl Hannah’s performance) how she was able to switch between a sort of mercenary survivalist streak and then be, in the next moment, as friendly as a puppy dog, playing kindness, vulernability, and friendliness perfectly. I suppose it made me a little suspicious, wondering how often people do that in real life, y’know?
On to address the next DVD in my bunch … I have seen the prior two Godfathers at this point, and am now biting the bullet and watching III. I’ve been told it’s crap, but I’d like to see all of them for the hell of it, anyway.
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With great amusement and no little amount of disgust, I note that Yoko Ono has apparently shat all over “Give Peace a Chance”. If you’re a masochist, you can listen to a tad more of it here. (I had to see exactly how much of a train wreck it could be.)
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A friend of mine, Jazz Shaw, runs a blog called Running Scared, and I’m now a guest blogger on it. It’s got a fairly good readership.
Here’s my entries so far: 1 and 2.
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