20 Dec 05 Quirkycontemplation

I’m working through a book called quirkyalone, and have found two interesting tidbits. I’m not sure if they fit me in the same way that horoscopes fit everyone, or if I really am a ‘quirkyalone,’ but here are the things I found rather interesting:

For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone.

That struck me as something rather telling … because I don’t want to spend time with women who I know there is absolutely no chance of me getting along with or going anywhere with emotionally. Really, the emotional and mental elements are, for me, a real part of whether the woman in question is sexually attractive or not.

This spoke to me as well:

“For me, the late twenties were the hardest. I started to realize it was quite possible that I could spend the rest of my life alone, and I internalized all my inability to be in a stable relationship to the point that I thought there was something wrong with me. I was starting to crawl through some transition, but the road was really narrow and I couldn’t see anything around me. I knew that I had to recreate the conception of my life or else I was going to be really depressed and disappointed that I failed at something that seemed to be a birthright. That birthright [of being in a couple] was supposed to be given to you at some point in your twenties, and in my late twenties I was most anxious because I saw it slipping away. Was anyone else in my life going through this? Yes. My friend, who I thought was a totally cool person, independent. Seeing her depression and anxiety made me think, This is really pathetic. She spent so much time thinking about being single and going to dating services and self-improvement and codependent anonymous meetings and going on diets — everything was focused on the ‘other.’ I felt like she was killing herself in the process of trying to merge with someone else. Her obsession jolted me out of mine.”

— Kara Herold

I’m not sure I’m quite as judgmental as Kara seems to be, but, man, I can relate. The whole idea of couple-as-birthright, and severely internalizing the “why aren’t I in a relationship?” question, well, it just resounds.

I really have enjoyed this book so far …