25 Jun 06 A Tribyoote to Teh Unsoong Hearos

A little amusement on the ‘Net. I recently saw this YouTube clip, featuring some auditions by a third-rate impersonator of Walken, DeNiro, Pesci and Nicholson auditioning for Snakes on a Plane. It was bad enough I felt an urge to leave a comment: “Awful, dude. Really, really, really … bad. You sound nothing like DeNiro, you look nothing like Walken … seriously, man, maybe incorporate the impersonations alone into some stand-up, but this doesn’t work.”

Oooooh, boy. Who would have thought a YouTube clip would have such fanboys. It’s evidently become one of my most controversial statements!

The first literate, well-reasoned counterargument?

die in a fire

Yeah, you gotta love that. Not only a death wish, but a very specific death wish. So I asked:

Not in a typhoon?

(No response.)

Commenters felt obliged to also reply:

like Ducky said “ASHOLE!” lol

(Really not certain who Ducky is.)

And:

Wtf is breaking your balls? this is awesome you fucking douchebag

Of course, the high literacy of these complaints convinced me. I was wrong. The man was clearly an unsung genius. I now had to join the attack — against myself. So, I took a stand alongside my new friends and wrote:

d00d wtf is yer problm! just bcause u think mi idol isnt talented, u must be a f00king ashole dooshbag. this gets me verry verry uppset because a youtoobe video clip iz 1 of the mostest important things in my life lol

It was actually a bit tough to purposefully end sentences with the wrong punctuation, misspell, shorten three-letter words to one-letter words, and so on. Gamer speak is actually a little tough to manage. Guys, I salute you.