Pertinacious Metanoia

“Yeah, I just talked to Mom. I’m taking the car back. Yeah, I know she’s in debt. You wanna know why she’s in debt? Cuz she’s having to bail your ass out of jail every week.”

“A foul-smelling package that led to the evacuation of a post office next to the Smithsonian’s National Postal Museum contained two cans of spinach and a dirty diaper, authorities said.” *snicker*

“Well, the makeup box doesn’t fly with me anymore. It has been thrown into the trash in the interest of National Security. It’s greasepaint, neither a liquid nor a gel, and all less than three ounce maximum.”